I don't care what they say..I'm in love with you

^^dodgy lyric I know but I think it definitely sums up what I am about to say: despite my cold dislike of me revealing too much of my feelings I feel like I need some sort of support on what I need to do so any help would be grateful. 
The fact of the matter is that I am (i think) in love with someone and I'm hitting my head against the wall atm because it's someone I would never have thought it would be. It's not some sort of crush that stupid 11 year olds have but I feel like without this person in my life, a gaping hole would be left in my heart (<<corny right?) and I don't think it would be the same without them in my life. He is, in my eyes, one of the best friends I have ever had, and because of this I am scared...so very scared of how my ambivalent feelings could change this whole relationship we have and ruin it forever. Because the fact of it is that he is amazing. In every way: the memories we have I will always treasure forever and even when we have had arguments (and we've had our fair share tbf) we always feel like we cant stop talking to each other and we need to talk and see each other everyday which I have never felt before and I think it is so special and I don't want to ruin it like I ruin everything special around me...
So any help would be grateful: what do I do? 
Tell this guy and hope and pray that he feels the same way and have a go at a relationship? 
Or stop being such a pillock and writing stupid blogs and stay as friends? 
I have no idea..I am at a crossroads and I have lost my way 
Someone please show me the way..

the future..:)

Its been a rocky sort of months: I nearly lost two of my best friends by my own stupid actions but the word forgiveness has been passed around everything is perfect now with them and with most things.
However one of the bravest people I know is ill and have no chance of getting better but it's like my best friends say, 'make the time they have left the best that they have and make sure you're there for most of it' and they're right: no more being sad because I have the best life ever <3 I just need to stay strong and if I have the right people around me I'll breeze through it even though the future may seem a bit murky, I have a lot more to give and sitting around doing nothing is not the way to go!
Also it's nearly my birthday and if that person cannot be there I will be sure that I'll have the best time of my life for you because it's the least I can do after all you've been through: I will miss you though :'( but no more tears
Keep smiling everyone: it will get better and if you don't feel like smiling I'll keep happy for you <3

the people who make my life interesting..

today, especially has made me realize how much I love my life and its because of the people in it. The laughs and breaks we have give me something to look forward to and the rocky road that is the future has never looked brighter tbf: because I know my second family will always be there.
♥ Jason Lee Haynes: this person,regardless of me not knowing him that long, is the person I can mostly relate to tbf. He's one of the most genuine people I know and he's always there :) his quirky and funny personality gives me something to laugh about and he's just so real (which sounds weird) but he doesnt try to be someone else and that is something i really admire. ♥ 
♥Elizabeth Bronwen Alford: this girl is beautiful and she shouldnt be constantly reminded of it: she has been like a sister to me seriously you can talk to her about anything and she wont judge you and if she does have something to say about it she is totally honest which is so rare to find these days. she makes me laugh too much and she's the strongest girl i know and i love her to bits ♥ 
♥Chad Aron Greensill: is amazing. he's just there all the time (not in a annoying way) but he just seems to be there with his goofy smile and flippy hair and an open ear to bore xD he has an amazing personality and outlook on life he's just beautiful: i don't know what I'd do without this gay queen tbf ♥ 
♥Eleanor Ashfield Hayes: omg this girl asdfghjkl is bloody amazing ♥ our partying and the fun we had every time we hang out its so good :) you cant help but love this girl tbf its impossible to hate her. always there and even though she's had some tough times (i mean we all have) shes always grateful for everyone's help and that is what i love about her ♥
♥Jessica Frances Hill: well i've known this girl for years and i can honestly say she is the coolest friend ever: shes such a darling seriously i love her: she makes the best cakes ever and she's always there for me to rant at her over the phone (btw if you're reading this we've gotta beat 27 minutes ;D) shes gorgeous and funny and she makes my psychology lessons along with eleanor ♥
♥Postans and Daisy: I've not known these people for long but they're absolutely 100% cool and they're gorgeous ♥ especially james' boots and daisy's hair: they're funny, quirky and need to stay in my life coz you cant help but love them ♥


♥The other fools in my life: james bateman, carlton ebanks, daniel hopkins, bilal hussain, the health and social bunch including my homegal salina khatun, psychology bunch including demi lawley and megan blades ♥