A Post of Dreams

It's funny how much time goes on. 
The last time that I posted on this blog was July 2013: before then I was chatting jibberish and having the odd rant about things so close to my heart. 
It wasn't until recently that I have realized how much growing up I've done. I rant less often: I choose to now debate. It's not so much as me becoming more extroverted (because if you knew me before 2006-ish you would know that I was more introverted and quiet), but I have a better view of everything now that I have started nursing. 
It sounds stupid I know, but seriously when you go into a course like this, you begin to question everything about what everyone tells you, what you thought you knew and what you want in your life. 
And it makes you seriously think about your life as a whole...
At the end of 2012, I was in a seriously low place. I had come out of a, rather dysfunctional. relationship and had lost all confidence in myself and my abilities, purely because of one person. I was in a dark place and I had WAY TOO MUCH time on my hands. Looking back now, I should have done more to defend myself against what had happened, but I don't think I would change the way that I acted. I felt angry, upset, confused and, I'll admit, a little bit shit about myself as a whole. 
Going into 2013, I was literally fighting to get a place at university because I knew that the one thing that would make me feel better, is to try and nurse children who I don't want to see in the same situation as me: confused, angry and upset. When I got onto the course, I was so determined to make that my goal. I wanted to pass my first year with flying colours, to get the grades that would make me feel less of a joke to others. I just wanted to get through day by day. And I did. 
But it wasn't until I realized how lonely I was did I need to make a change. I mean I had my friends and family and I will love them until I die. Seriously, when I am on my deathbed, I will look back on all the faces that have made me laugh and happy and I will smile because I know that I will have always had friends. Not going to lie, I wish I could see them more often, my group of friends are simply amazing, but life is all about wishing for things and waiting patiently. No, I don't dispute, or forget, that I have the most beautiful friends in the whole entire world, but there is always that someone out there that is meant to be your other half: to make you whole and happy forever. I wanted to find him on the way. 
It wasn't until that I was fully settled in my nursing course that I met the most extraordinary man in my life (equal to that of my dad). Extraordinary is one word to describe Greg, but it doesn't even come close. He is not only my boyfriend, but he is like my best friend: being with him, is like hanging round with my group of friends and he gets my sense of humour. I'm not going to blab on about how much he means to me because if you know me well enough you know how much I want everyone to get along and be loved: and that being loved by this man is everything to me, especially if you knew how hard it is for us sometimes to think that it might not have happened. 
No. The reason I have mentioned the fact that I have got my dream course, family, friends and my Greg, is the fact that it's been 1 1/2 years and my life has turned upside down and inside out: but for the better. And for those who say that dreams don't come true...well they do if you try hard enough. The Olympic Games had to be dreamed up by someone; the athletes who took part had to work hard and be influenced to take part. Florence Nightingale was a true visionary and if she hadn't have brought up the fact that their hospitals were filthy and infections were killing hundreds of patients, we probably wouldn't have the knowledge now to stop infection from spreading. If I hadn't have worked hard and got my A Levels, I wouldn't have had a cat in hells chance of getting into University, let alone a nursing course. If I hadn't have answered that message to go on a date with Greg, I wouldn't have realized that I liked him from the off. If I hadn't have gone on that cinema date with him on the 28th September 2013, I wouldn't have seen him say that he loved me for the first time and I wouldn't have said it back. 

The point of this post? 
Don't give up. Don't give in. Don't break down. Because I didn't and I may not be famous, rich or amazing, but I am happy :) 
Peace out! 

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood...

Yeah, OK, this is going to sound like the soppiest blog post I have ever written but the person I am writing about deserves this. 

It's not even funny how strong this person is. I don't think I have met a person this strong and lovely in my entire life (except perhaps Gandhi but I didn't actually meet him- but that's beside the point), and I don't think enough people have said this to him, but hopefully the amount of people viewing this will agree with me. 

Because this person has been down lately, and sometimes I feel like I am on one side of a mountain and climbing across to meet this other person and it is a massive struggle with many obstacles and things getting in the way. But that's only because he doesn't open up as much as I believe he should. 

I don't slate him for that. I am exactly the same. 

That's why I'm bossy with my best friend. 

But that's just because I care about my best friend. He's like my brother. He gets me. I get him. It's the circle of life (Disney quotes ftw). He is generous with his time with people who, I don't think, deserve it but because he is kind, he tries his best with everyone. He is patient, with me especially when I am tipsy and emotional (Aber especially) and faithful to his friends, respectful also to what they need and tries so hard with them, even if he doesn't agree. He cheers you on, gives myself confidence especially when I feel like giving up and when I do feel like crap, he is there with that daft laugh of his to make me smile again. He stays in regular contact with everyone and gets us all together when we haven't seen each other for months. He is sociable and does his best, when we are all out, to have a conversation with everyone and he will NEVER leave anyone out. I trust him implicitly, with everything that I say, knowing that he will never gossip when I am serious, but only when he feels like I need more support. Also, unlike so many nowadays, he is honest, and will tell you what he thinks about what you're doing/saying. Supportive, understanding, helpful, non-judgemental and a brilliant listener, I could harp on all day about how brilliant this person is but the next part is where I get serious...

He is genuine and humble (which is why I am embarrassing him with this post ;D) because he truly doesn't think about himself, but others way too much and people take advantage and, as a best friend, that makes me angry. And when people say that he has CHANGED that makes me angry as well. He hasn't changed. People change all the time, I know that, but this person will never be anyone else but himself. There are different layers to a person, you just need to peel the first layers off and delve deeper instead of giving up half way.  Not many people realize how much a 'thank you' or a 'thanks' means to this person. It means a lot to me, which is why I ALWAYS say it to this person. 

So I want to thank this person: 

Thank you for being amazing. 

Thank you for being yourself. 

Thank you for being my best friend.

Chad Greensill, you don't think about yourself 99% of the time, so let me think about you for that 1% and know that everyone you meet will love you. 

Because you are you.

P.S. I know you get teary/emotional about these things, but you know, this is part 2 of intervention ;D part 1 was 'psychological', this part is 'letting you know how much everyone loves you' <3

what I've learnt in 2012?

Ok, so I see this hashtag (#2012taughtme), and it gets me thinking about this past year and everything that has happened..a lot has happened mind you so I had a lot to think about because I think that it's good and I hope what I'm about to write inspires (which I try to do) and makes you think about your year...
I've had an emotional year I must admit: lost people, gained people, had my fair few crushes and made new friends. Whilst most of it has caused a lot of horrid emotions, I try to turn them into positives. 
I lost a family member, but I've gained some precious memories and it's pulled my family closer together than  ever before. It may be that we realise that life is short and that we cannot let one little thing get you down. I've met some right arseholes in my 19 years, but arseholes can take a hike, because I know I can do better because I believe that I deserve it and I try to tell people who are so wonderful that they deserve it as well. 

So first lesson: I deserve the best because I work hard and I help people. 

I'm properly starting my placement and lectures in the next month (Child Nursing- ooer). I have people telling me that it's all about poop and shit and long hours e.t.c. But for me (and my friend Jenni :'D) it's all about trying to help, we're too passionate about our nursing degree and we want to pass so badly, which is why we'll be the best of friends in the future. I have to travel to Dudley for my placement. What's that you say..too far? Nope. Distance is nothing when you want something too badly and those who moan shouldn't do it. If you're passionate about something, nothing should stop you, no matter how tired you get, how emotional and disheveled you feel, you should grab it with both hands and push forward. 

Second lesson: Don't give up. If you want something bad enough you should get it. 

A lot has changed this past year. My friends have moved away, been at uni, started work e.t.c. and I get the odd phonecall/text now and then, and you're probably thinking 'they're not very good friends': on the contrary, they are grabbing their dreams and having a good time whilst doing it and I'm so happy for them. I met up with some of my old high school friends (Dan, Tom and Oli- the babes ;D) and I couldn't believe how much I've missed them until we started chatting, like we'd never left, that time has stood still. But to be honest, I love them all and I wouldn't be anywhere without them: whilst doing my A levels I wouldn't have done so well without their support. So all you people thinking you can do your A levels/ degrees, without friends, then you're kidding yourself. Everyone has friends and you should go to them for support even if they're not there with you. You shouldn't shunt them just because they're miles away and if your other half is miles away then you shouldn't let distance put that wedge between you. 

Third lesson: Friends are valuable. Even those who you aren't close to. The friend who is most supportive may not be your closest and that is why you shouldn't shunt their support. 

So I hope that this blog post has inspired you to make your 2013 the best ever :D 
And Have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year <3 

Peace xox

Fundraising for NSPCC

Whilst watching Children in Need the other day, I felt a pang of sadness for those children who have been abused/don't have to same opportunities as other children.
So as a New Years Resolution, as well as my University work, I want to do some charity work...

...but I cannot do it alone.

The saying goes 'two heads are better than one'...but what about a group of heads? If you are interested in helping me, it'd be great :D this charity is very close to my heart and ideas and fresh opinions would be brilliant. It'd also be good if you were enthusiastic and committed (don't leave me high and dry in other words).
For those of you going through/about to go through the UCAS process, it'd be great on your UCAS forms ;)
Anywho, if you are interested, pop me a facebook message, DM/tweet me on twitter, or if you're close enough to me to have my phone number, give me a text and we'll all meet up for brainstorming :)

Danke schon!xx

P.S. If you're creative/doing or have done ART you'd be a brilliant asset as well as others who have fulfilled the 'criteria' above <3

Individual differences...

A post on facebook nearly cricked my neck today, due to the prehistoric reasoning and wording behind it. As we all know, the elections for the next President of the USA have been occurring, and we all have our reasoning and ideas behind who should have been elected. Obviously, we all know now that Obama has been re-elected, which is good news for those Democrats among us but when I see facebook posts like this...

'Obama has been re-elected...looks like the majority of the votes are from black people'

...it makes me lose hope for mankind. 
Reasons why we are behind some candidates are all very well (their speeches are inspiring, they have done a lot of things for the country e.t.c.) but that reason right there, is obviously a prehistoric argument. What people say and believe in comes from the brain and the heart (which we all have), whether we are black, white, hispanic, chinese e.t.c. So that facebook post is invalid and, to be honest, stupid. 
I preach a lot about racism, sexism, homophobic comments, but only because I truly believe that equality is a concept that we haven't fully understood yet. It's all very well and good having women as equals in Western societies, having civil partnerships for those who are homosexual and the equality act in the work place to allow those of different ethnicities and disabled people to work, but until we abolish these prehistoric and lame ideas about how we think these 'other' people think/work, then we'll never truly take aboard individual differences. 
My family, I'll admit, have a lot of these prehistoric ideas (I say prehistoric a lot because some people think from the 1800's and society has moved on from those times), through generations my family have had some, I think, different views on equality but I truly believe that if every person was exactly the same it would be a boring place: we'd have the same views, the same ideas, we'd be looking in a mirror and seeing a person exactly the same. 
Diversity is a beautiful thing. I know a lot of people who are of different ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, disability and mentality, and to be honest I love them all. They make life so exciting and although my dad says to me every morning 'Try and be normal today Alex', can we really define normality? I don't believe that there is such a thing as normality...we do normal things, like brushing our teeth, eating breakfast, making friends, but as we look in the mirror, do we really believe that we are normal? 
What does normal look like? What does it sound like? Feel like? We all have differences. Abnormality can come into different forms but in the end we are all capable of changing. So we are never truly normal. Because we are adapting all the time. 

Barack Obama says: 

'It doesn't matter whether you're black or white or Hispanic or Asian or Native American or young or old or rich or poor, abled, disabled, gay or straight...you can make it here in America if you're willing to try' 

And I truly believe in that statement...and as long as I am alive, and wanting to become a nurse, and helping people with their problems, I will accept everyone as they are. 
Because that is one thing that every human being wants. 

To be accepted for their differences. 
To be accepted for who they are. 

the people who make me...

Since the last time that I wrote on here, I was reminiscing about the past 7 years at WGA and to be honest it brought a tear to my eye. I don't tend to bawl out in tears nowadays because, to put it bluntly, my life is an absolute success at the moment and it's because of the things that have happened recently. 

Firstly I've had to say goodbye to some amazing people that have come to be my second family. I don't think there are any words to say how honored and happy that I am to know such people who, in my opinion, couldn't have made these two years as amazing as they have done and there isn't enough words to express how thankful I am for the support, especially emotionally, that these people have given to me. So I'm going to dedicate this blog post to the people who MAKE ME who I am today: 

Firstly to Mr Bilal Ravat, it might not have been long since we became best friends but I couldn't imagine my life without my best asian friend now. We may be going to the same University but different campuses but I know for a fact that I will always need you to support me and to make me laugh with your bouts of depression about your favourite drinks at *bucks being abolished. Don't change. 

Secondly to Miss Elizabeth Alford, throughout sixth form and the end of year 11, you have always been there for me, making me laugh and smile with a whole lot of things but the thing that I will always remind me of you is your uncanny ability to see the best in everyone even when they're total arsewhole bitches but I suppose thats just how good you are. Be amazing. 

Thirdly to Mr Chad Greensill and Miss Jessica Hill, you two make me bloody laugh and it's amazing how many of the stories that my brother wants to hear about, the ones that always make me chuckle include you two, and my brother always asking about 'The Greensill and Hill' stories. Chad, don't change, you're amazing and I couldn't have got through some of the bad times without you to cheer me up with your fantastic hugs and your ridiculous laugh. Jess, you're spectacular and I hope we are friends forever and ever and you also helped me through a lot just by being there and not bombarding me with questions and for that I thank you. 
You two will always be my Beryl and Tom (choose amongst yourselves) 

Fourthly to My Beloved Virgin Corner including Eleanor, Bilal, James, Carlton, Dan, Sheps, Meg, Aouse, Jason, without you guys I wouldn't have made it through these past two years (well I would've but it would've been fucking depressing). Ellz, Bilal, Meg and Aouse, continue to be amazing and Meg especially keep me in mind when you go to McDonalds :D. James, Carlt, Dan, Sheps, Jase thank you for all the slag jokes and laughs as I wouldn't have gotten the publicity I needed to get my business booming without you guys *salutes*. 

Fifth to the other corners including the Asian Crew, who will always have a special place in my heart and I thank you <3. 

Sixth to these people who I can honestly say I am glad I met: Prestage, Amy T, Lori, Amy H, Emily B, Katie F, Katie H, Jade, Hollie, Laura, Lizzi, Liam, Sonal, Lucy, Amy B, Daisy, Postans, Channy <3 

Lastly, this may seem a bit corny, but I wouldn't have got through the last part of this year without my boyfriend. Even when we weren't together, he was my best friend and I could talk to him about anything and I still do. I can depend on him when I'm at an all time low and I can continue to make everyone else cheery when I'm cheery. Nathan Joseph Grimmett, I love you <3 

nearing the end of a winding road..

Ah June..it reminds us of so many things: Summer, sunshine, the feeling of apathy and the fact that the school year is ending so very soon. Obviously in September we would be feeling anxious about going back, however this year is very different. 

a) End of school FOREVER

b) End of mandatory exams 

So as I look forward to those amazing concepts, and the prospect of university, I want to get all nostalgic and look back on what has happened in these past 7 years...christ, I feel old :S 

So, going to Wood Green, I was apprehensive, yet absolutely terrified at the concept that I was the 3rd of the Britton's going down to high school and would, somehow, do well whilst under the 'guidance' of teachers. Whilst I was a incredibly shy kinda gal, I managed to whip up a lot of new friends who will be in my heart forever, not just because they saw me as a good person, but because of the incredible memories that they've given me. 

A couple of years down the line I went with the wrong sorta crowd, but honestly I wouldn't change it because if they hadn't have treated me the way that they did I wouldn't have known what being treated like crap was and so I knew that I wouldn't want to be that type of person. 

Then a couple of years down again, when I thought I'd never know friendship again, I met a group of such amazing people who took me under their wing and honestly I wouldn't be anything without them. I wouldn't be the person I am now: I'd still be the shy, not confident, meek person that I was in year 7 and I wouldn't know fun and love like I do with this group. They all bring something to the group which is what makes it so perfect and the fact that we're all there for each other is amazing as well which I why I know that wherever we go to University, we'll always be the best of friends. 

This year especially has been extremely hard for me recently but the people who helped me through it are my true friends and I feel like nobody else can touch me because I have them.